Promises

What is worth a promise?

Since we are born, or rather... since we start to speak, we make promises we never keep. We promise to our parents, our friends and even ourselves, but we don't keep our promises. But do people expect us to keep our promises, anyway? If I expect so, am I an idiot?

I've met so many liars in my life... my mother is probably one of the worst. She marked my childhood by lying 24/7. It really hurt to be lied to. Sometimes she promised a toy, or that she'd take me somewhere, but she never did. She somewhat stoped lying when I hit teen age, though.

My friends were a bunch of liars too, but they didn't tell promises, so they weren't disappointing. I loved all my childhood friends, pretty cool guys. You can trust a liar as long as he or she doesn't tell promises, I'm sure.

I've promised to myself several times in the past, saying I would have better grades, I would spend less money on garbage, I would be a better son. I never kept my promises. Or I kept them for a short time and forgot about them later. I don't think I was expecting myself to keep my own promises to myself, but I've always hated myself. I always thought of myself as a general disappointment, so I wasn't affected by my own fake rants. By any means, I was disappointing myself, not someone else.

But what happens when your best friend or someone very close to you breaks a promise?

What happens when someone you know as completely trustable, breaks a promise?

What happens when the person you trust the most in the whole wide world breaks a very, very important promise, made a hundred times? And what happens when, just after breaking such promise, they lie to you again?

It breaks the heart to picture such a situation, doesn't it? Well... I can tell it does, for obvious reasons.

Promises are important. Promises are bonds between friends and loved ones that keep us worth the time, worth the suffering, worth the place in someone's heart. Kept promises are what keeps us together, the proof that we are there for our loved ones and we will always be.

Please... you may be reading this and I don't even know who you are, but here's my advice: don't make promises you can't keep... just don't, it's painful to be lied to, it's painful to be disappointed by someone you love and trust, and I'm sure it's painful to break yourself a promise to someone as well. Never make promises you can't keep: you will be hurting yourself and the others. It even is painful to be told a falsehood that your teller thought was true. Sure that's different from a lie, but that doesn't make it any less disappointing and painful, trust me.

Don't stop making promises you CAN keep... as I stated, it's an important bond between us, and it makes us grow stronger and closer to each other.

"Trust is the base of a relationship." I was told these words by the same person who broke her promise to me, the only promise I ever WANTED to be kept. Broken. But I agree. I know I agree... and I forgive you. I would always forgive you, always.

Time and again,
She repeats let's be friends
I smile and say yes
Another truth bends,
I must confess

I try to let go, but I know
We'll never end 'til we're dust
We lied to each other again
But I wish I could trust.

                            

                               -"Trust" - D. Mustaine.

Next is a picture of a heart-shaped cake.

You know what they say about cake... bye.

I'm feeling atrociously worried, and as heart-broken as almost always.