Delusions

I had the weirdest night. I cried myself to sleep at, like... 8:30 PM. Woke up one hour ago, after a dream, a half-a-nightmare and a nightmare. My legs and my head barely responded when I decided I couldn't fall asleep again. I don't care telling about my eerie nightmares as much as I enjoy them, but I'll only tell my first dream was about her. Fell asleep with her in every corner of my head, and the last thing I saw before turning the lights off was her beautiful face. That usually helps me sleep, but, well... I don't know what happened tonight. Right now I just know that I'm depressed and dying for a chocolate popsicle.

A few minutes ago I received a message from my band's guitar player to ask if we are going to rehearse this sunday. I couldn't thank him enough, because it gave me a good time to send back another message to fucking dump the mediocre pieces of shit once and for all. It's so much easier like that.

Ah, I remember something... also, when I was falling asleep, I felt something above my head. Like something walking on past my pillow. Jill was in the backyard so it couldn't have been her. I was dreaming awake or something. Luna... I miss you. I miss you so much... okay, now I'm crying. That's good. But oh, Luna... I wish you were here. The place you left in my heart is still hollow, you know...

Yesterday before sleeping, too, I was reading our messenger history. I miss your sweetness a bit too much. Ah... I remember how, when we were together, no matter what happened, no matter how gray a day was, you always knew how to cheer me up... not that I needed it, because when I got down, I thought of you and I smiled and easily got up. I think what cheered me up the most was when you let me see you through camera. I haven't seen you in seven months, if I'm not wrong. You know? We could try again some day, just a minute, just so I can see you smile and... stuff, I mean... I miss your smiles too. We could try and talk again, too, I miss your laughter. It's like, you know, the best sound ever... and I think I've had long enough without hearing it.

I wonder if you'd laugh, though... if you don't, I fucking slice my wrists.

Next is a picture of a cat with an adorable heart-shaped spot.

I loVe you, 'lill dragonfly. I hope you're doing awesome. And if you aren't, please, PLEASE, try to... Bye.

I feel fairly discharged. Good sadness.